Sunday, February 28, 2010

Shrugmania

So, there you have it!
For the first time I'm crocheting a bigger wearable that's not something like a shawl. It's a shrug!

Lately I find myself browsing Ravelry a lot in search of nice shrug patterns. The one I'm trying now shouldn't be too hard for someone who has never made a real wearable before, but should give me some understanding of how these wearables are made. As I'm a real plus size with still no understanding of how to make a wearable that fits me there's a good chance the shrug won't fit, but I don't mind that much. It's about the joy of crocheting and the learning experience more than it's about the end result and I'll probably find someone who will enjoy the piece to give it away anyway.

I did make shawls before last year and still having a lot of health trouble you probably can't imagine what is was like for me to create a base chain with the right amount of stitches. I had to keep recounting over and over again, starting anew several times and seemed to lack a lot of concentration yet. Going back to my old job in other circumstances than before helped me in refinding concentration again. My memory works a lot better, I don't have to write things down all the time and my comprehension of new stuff is also a lot better and quicker. Now here's the victory:
Making a base chain of 141 stitched in one attempt only, succeeding to recount it just to be sure in one attempt as well!
It may not seem like a lot, but it almost made me cry from happiness. It also made me realize how far away I've been because of several health issues. Now finally there's is significant progress and I'm so happy about that! I also realize there may still be periods during which really crocheting anything big isn't possible, but we'll see about that in the future, because this may also be part of a total recovery that's just coming very slowly in the last couple of years and of course I hope for the latter!

Back to the shrug: the Magic Shrug from Lisa Gentry.
I'm still working on the body and will probably need the rest of the week to come to finish that and then onto the collar! In the meantime I still browse Ravelry on the lookout for other shrugs to try. The shrug has hypnotized me, for sure!
Me and my obsessions... I'm probably mad enough to watch Alice In Wonderland and not raise an eyebrow at all!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Hiatus?

Wow, there has been a big hiatus here...
Life's been a roller coaster ride for us in the time that lies behind us.

In the last couple of months I've heard of people becoming ill or dying much more than I can handle. I didn't know all of them personally, but everytime it was a shock to hear the news. About 5 years ago there was a same sort of period in my life and it makes me scared, almost panicking. Something I thought I was over... At this moment I can say that I am and I try to live conciously without forementioned fear. It works!

Somehow, New Year's Eve felt like a new beginning and all the more so when it became the start of February. Mum has had a ckeck up with another lung physician. The X-rays were positive, stating stability or even a diminishing. She's feeling a lot better, hair is growing back and the negative effects of the chemo therapy start to go away.
We knew there was a good chance for stability, but still... I needed to hear that again some months after the last treatment. For me this was quite stressful (believe Mum was a lot more at ease!), but now we can all breathe again and enjoy life!

Finally a very good friend who's in a divorce found a new home for her and her daughter. The divorce is official and now she can finally make a new start and build up a life again! As soon as she gets the key we want to go and have a look.
Another good friend got the divorce papers too and can also make a real new start now.
A third very good friend started a training in natural horsemanship right before New Year's Eve 2009 that will take several years next to her office job. Quite an adventure, but so far she feels so much at home and doing this training makes her very happy.

It seems more people are making a new start with things in their life or sometimes their complete lives and it makes me happy! We also had to say goodbye to our lovely neighbor whom we have know for 21 years. A sweet man, loved by many, who lived to be 93 years old and still enjoying everyday he was around. A true example!

During the winter I've been ill a lot and my energy still runs low. I have missed a couple of birthday parties, had to stay at home a lot, luckily managed to keep working in my part time job, but next to that there wasn't much left for other occupations. I still have to catch up with emails, other stuff that has been lying around for months and pick up crochet again. Slowly I am and the feeling of wanting to create something is back again.
I realise there's a chance that life will always be like this: months of working, being busy and doing stuff and times when nothing is happening due to illness and lack of energy. Still, we notice improvements in the last couple of years and now I'm starting a mindfulnesstraining in April. I do hope this will help me to participate more complete in life and I've always loved yoga and meditation, but just didn't so enough with it. It will be relaxing anyway, but so far 25 years of working with it has shown a lot of progress because of this training for a.o. people with more or less permanent health problems so I'm positive about what it can do to me.

A new start! :)